We’ve all heard stories about someone’s else’s divorce settlement. It may have been a story on a television entertainment news channel or a tabloid cover; maybe gossip shared by parents at a school sporting event; or perhaps a friend or family member once confided in you. In any manner, you may have learned that so-and-so “got the house” as part of his/her divorce settlement or was awarded “x-amount of alimony.”
As a result of what you heard, you may be setting unrealistic expectations for your own divorce settlement. For example, you may believe that if your friend was awarded x-amount of alimony, you should be entitled to the same amount. This type of thinking is unproductive and can hinder settlement negotiations. Why? Because Connecticut divorce law is very fact specific, and just as no two marriages are the same, neither are their divorce settlements. While the conversations may be well intended, they typically produce more anxiety than anything useful.
CONNECTICUT’S EQUITABLE DISTRIBUTION LAW
When a couple divorces in Connecticut, their marital property is distributed “equitably” between them. Significantly, the law does not require an equal division (though this is often the case), rather the law requires only that a division is fair. To determine what is fair and equitable, courts are instructed to consider the following factors set forth in C.G.S §46b-81:
- the length of the marriage;
- cause(s) of the divorce;
- age and health of the spouses;
- their station, or standard of living;
- their occupations, employability, and earning capacity;
- their amount and sources of income;
- their education and vocational skills;
- the estate of each spouse;
- the liabilities and needs of each spouse; and
- the opportunity for each spouse to acquire capital assets and income in the future.
To determine what, if any, spousal support should be awarded to a spouse, the courts must consider nearly identical statutory factors set forth in C.G.S §46b-82.
When mediating a divorce, couples are guided by the same statutory factors as the court. Couples are encouraged to discuss and consider each statutory factor, and to determine which factors are most relevant under their circumstances. When determining a fair division of assets and/or alimony, couples may find that certain factors carry more weight than others.
APPLICATION OF CONNECTICUT LAW
The statutory factors must be applied to the unique facts of each marriage. From your perspective, you may think that the facts of your case are similar to someone else’s, so your divorce settlement should be similar. However, you have no idea what underlying factors may have tipped the scales to shape the divorce settlement of someone else.
By way of example, let’s imagine that you are a stay-at-home wife, and your husband is employed at Acme Corporation. You have been married fifteen years and share two children. Several individuals employed at Acme in the same position as your husband (you assume earning the same salary) have divorced. They also had stay-at-home wives and children. Believing your circumstances to be similar to these divorced couples, you learn some details about their divorce settlements through the grapevine.
Divorce #1: The Wife was awarded the marital home and $10,000 per month in alimony payments.
You may assume you are entitled to keep your home and receive similarly generous support payments. What you don’t know is that the Wife kept the home in exchange for the Husband keeping his retirement savings. The value of the two assets balanced one another, and the Wife was confident her spousal and child support would cover the cost of maintaining the home. The generous alimony payments were actually the result of an agreement that the Wife would receive a greater amount of alimony for a shorter duration. Rather than receive less alimony for a period of seven years, the Wife agreed to receive a greater amount for a period of four years.
Divorce #2: The Husband was awarded the marital home and the Wife was awarded $5,000 per month in alimony payments.
You may have concerns that you will lose your home and have insufficient income to support yourself. What you don’t know is that the Wife had a substance abuse problem. It was in the best interest of the children to remain in their home with the Father. The Wife’s erratic behavior required her to reside elsewhere and seek counseling. The Wife’s alimony award was reduced because the parties agreed the Husband would fully pay certain expenses—including Wife’s rehab, the children’s nanny and private school tuition, orthodontics, etc.
Divorce #3: The Wife was awarded the marital home and no alimony.
You may fear divorce will leave you destitute and with a home you cannot afford. What you don’t know is that the Wife was independently wealthy. The Wife was a beneficiary to a family trust that predated her marriage. She earned ample income from the trust to support herself and did not require spousal support. The parties agreed the Wife would retain the home because the Husband preferred to relocate closer to his employment.
The above examples are intended to show that even if circumstances appear to be similar on the surface, the underlying facts may be vastly different. Divorce settlements differ because they are crafted to address the unique circumstances and needs of each couple. Thus, you cannot expect your divorce settlement to mirror anyone else’s. More importantly, you should not judge your divorce settlement based on anyone else’s.
YOU CAN NEVER KNOW ALL THE FACTS THAT LED TO ANOTHER COUPLE’S DIVORCE SETTLEMENT
You may believe that the circumstances of your marriage are similar to another divorced couple’s. However, you can never know the intimate details of another marriage.
Even if an individual is employed in the same position as your spouse, and has the same level of seniority, you cannot know the amount and sources of their income. You are not privy to their annual productivity bonus, and you do not know if they have other income streams. Maybe that person works a second job, collects significant dividends on investments, or collects benefits from a prior employer. The individual may be a beneficiary to a large family trust or receive significant family gifts. Unless you have access to a person’s sworn financial affidavit, you do not have a complete picture of their finances. Thus, you cannot compare the financial aspects of their divorce settlement to your own.
Similarly, you cannot know all the personal facts that helped shape a couple’s divorce settlement. For example, people rarely make their medical history public. There are some instances where one spouse may receive an outsized portion of the marital assets due to a disabling progressive disease that makes it impossible for them to work.
Another instance where one spouse may receive a larger division of marital assets is when the other spouse primarily caused the breakdown of the marriage by engaging in bad conduct. For example, if one spouse had numerous affairs and dissipated marital assets paying for gifts and travel for their partners, the other spouse could be entitled to a larger portion of the marital assets to make up for the marital assets dissipated by their spouse. Embarrassing facts like these are not likely to be shared with others.
CONCLUSION
When negotiating your own divorce settlement in mediation, pay no mind to the divorce settlements of others. Just because so-and-so is getting x-amount of alimony or was granted x-amount of marital assets, does not mean you are entitled to the same.
The divorce settlement of another couple was specifically designed to address their unique circumstances—and you may never know precisely what those circumstances were. Rather than comparing yourself to others, focus on applying the statutory factors to the unique circumstances of your own marriage. Then craft a settlement agreement that will divide your marital assets fairly and will address the needs of both you and your spouse.
To learn more about your particular circumstances contact the attorneys at the Connecticut Family Law Group today at (203) 344-7007 or (860) 266-1166 to schedule an initial consultation. Our team of attorneys can provide you with the support and representation necessary to achieve the best possible outcome in your divorce.